YAY! The time for my very first blog tour has arrived! Let me welcome debut author, Lola Rayne, with the following funny little Guest Post by her (trust me, it's hilarious!) and congratulate her for the Oct 2nd publication of her novella, The Monster Within, book 1 in the Mounting Darkness series. You'll also find the means to connect with Lola, along with excerpts of the story itself. A review of The Monster Within by yours truly is up here, if you'd like to check it out.
Enjoy!
The Guest PostFor the love of all that is holy, do not say that word!
Words are funny little creatures, aren’t they? There are some words that are just fine when they’re being bandied about in normal conversation, but as soon as someone takes their pants off they become unacceptable. (UNACCEPTABLE!!) Several examples come to mind: ooze, malignant, polyp, testicles… It’s not that they’re bad words. They’re just not naughty words.
Let me give you a little background. It took me just over a week to write the first draft of “The Monster Within” except for those scenes. Those scenes alone took me nearly two months. Why? Think back to your first bumbling make out session. It was awkward, wasn’t it? Now try writing it down. I mean, the first time I wrote a make-out scene I had issues, so why would it be any different the first time I wrote a scene where boots were knocked?
Then once I got over that “I can’t write this” (I’m still not over the “I can’t write this”) I still had issues. Having a list of words that people (and by people I mean me) would rather not read during an amorous scene makes things tricky. Well trickier. Those damned words haunted me in my sleep. I was so busy trying to figure out what words to avoid (and blushing) that some nights I only wrote a sentence. It was a perfectly crafted sentence that burned holes in the (figurative) page, but it was still only one sentence.
In the end, when I finally unclenched long enough to write a scene or two, I tried to just get the scene down and worry about the specific words later. I mean, I still spent far too long agonizing if it’s ever appropriate to drop the c-bomb in reference to female bits, but for the most part I figured I’d just sort it out after. Which actually translates to me taking my thesaurus through the (sexual) rabbit hole, leaving it debauched and abused. (Poor thing) Oh, and me e-mailing people going “I really want to use the term ‘intimate pleats’ instead of folds.” Totally used it, in case you were wondering.
Hopefully I managed to avoid all the words that make people cringe, but since everyone has a different word they just can’t stand (moist, schlong, tallywhacker) I fear it may be impossible.
Excerpts of The Monster Within:
Miles of pale skin were spread before him, and at their apex was a glistening, shimmering oasis he was almost positive had to be a mirage. Sinking to his knees in reverence, he just looked upon her for several long moments. Starting at the small thatch of blonde hair that served as more of a halo than any sort of protection, he slide his thumbs down her intimate lips, spreading her so that he had an even better view of her splendor.
It took his breath away.
######
Her words were like a bucket of ice right to his crotch, shattering his lustful haze and bringing him back to reality. Withdrawing his hand from hers as if he’d been burned, he retreated back to his corner of the couch. That hit just a little too close to home, wounding the man he’d once been and could never be again. “I’m not a good man,” he proclaimed in a pathetic excuse for an explanation. What else could he say though? That he wasn’t even a man at all anymore?
“Ah, now you’re lying to me Gideon.” Her eyes held a twinkle, as if even though he’d pulled away, this conversation was going in the direction she wanted.
“No, really, you don’t understand.” He hoped the look on his face was stern and did not express the confusion her words and expressions invoked in him. How could she possible understand what he was? He didn’t fully understand it himself.
“Oh I dunno, I think I might.” She rocked onto her knees and slowly began to inch her way towards him on the couch, as if she were afraid that if she moved any faster she’d spook him and he’d run. It was too late though; he was already spooked.
“You don’t know what I am. What I’m capable of.” He wasn’t sure who’d okayed those words, since both man and beast had no desire to scare her away. Perhaps it was some remnant of decency left over from long ago.
“So then tell me Gideon, what are you?” As she asked, she placed both of her hands on his cheeks. Somehow she’d managed to get right up in his personal space without him noticing, even though she should want to be light years from here.
“A monster…” he whispered, hoping that she wouldn’t hear him, but knowing that she would. Perhaps it was best though. Now she’d surely leave and he could continue his miserable, lonely existence.
A curiously sad expression entered her eyes right before she gave a wry little laugh. One that changed her smile from one of kind curiosity to something he couldn’t decipher. ”Oh no honey. I’ve seen monsters, demons straight from hell, and you’re not one of them.”
The Book and the Blurb:
Sometimes the monster that haunted you as a child truly is real...
All it took was one phone call to bring Nicole Jones's life crumbling down around her. Now a nightmare she thought she'd left in her past is back, and he's not exactly bringing her candy and flowers. While fleeing, in a non-terrified fashion, she meets a menacing man in a dark alley. Then promptly passes out at his feet.
Gideon Evans hasn't exactly been having the best run of luck, but all that changes when a buxom little blonde collapses right in front of him. Or at least he thinks it has. It doesn’t take him long to realize that bombshell is an appropriate description for more than just her looks. Now he's facing several problems, including a surprising enemy, his own dark past, and a rather inconvenient case of lust.
Can they work together to battle the nightmare that's chasing them? Or will they succumb to the monster within?
About the Author:
I honestly fail so hard at writing "about me"s. Mainly because I either over share in embarrassing details, never shut up, or I'm in the midst of a social-anxiety spell where I don't feel like anyone cares what I have to say. Which just proves my over-sharing point.
Really I'm just a slightly crazy person who likes to make up strange little stories. Stories that I (for some reason no one knows) decided to share them with the world. I have a wonderful husband who supports me in everything I do and an adorable toddler daughter.
Connect with Lola (click on the following links):
Have you already read The Monster Within? Are your thinking about reading it? Please don't forget to tell Lola your thoughts and comment below.
(Note: I'm not responsible for the contents of this post, including the original post, the excerpts and the author profile, as all of the above were provided to me by the author. The cover and the blurb were taken from Goodreads.) ~Punya
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