B.N. Toler
Contemporary Romance/Paranormal
Published in 2015
H/h - Ike and George McDermott/Charlotte Acres
Setting: Present time.
Read in March, 2015.
My rating:
[spoiler alert]
Oh
My God! What a story! Where do I start?! I don’t even know if I can
even express myself eloquently when it comes to BN Toler’s Where One Goes!
When I started this book, I didn’t know what to expect. The author was a
new-to-me but the blurb sounded so very intriguing that I
had to read it. So glad that I did!
Have you
ever wondered where a soul goes when it crosses over? Or, have you ever
imagined yourself falling in love with two people, at the same time,
when one of them is just waiting to crossover into that unknown?
Just
as me and you, Charlotte has never imagined any of these things
happening to her. She was a regular kid with a loving family of parents
and an elder brother, going to school, then college, with the prospect
of a better life... until one day, when everything changed in the blink
of an eye. She just got in the same college as her brother, Axel; a
brother who is as loving and supportive, who had never minded her
trailing his shadows all through her childhood. Even in college he was
her guardian angel. A drunken night and an accident take everything away
from Charlotte, though she had no idea that Axel, who was with her, had
passed away. How could she when, in her drug-induced, fevered dreams
she saw her parents... and Axel, standing at her bedside, giving her the
strength she needed to recover from the grave injury? Was she awake,
had she dreamed of him? Charlotte couldn’t understand when she finally
came to and learned of the passing of her beloved brother.
And then it all started...
Soon
enough, Charlotte found out that in losing a part of her life, she’d
gain something; a ‘gift’. A gift that she certainly can do without when
Charlotte discovers she can now see the souls or ghosts of the people
who are stuck in a limbo. Who are unable to crossover because of some
unfinished business in the mortal world. And they need someone to see
them, an ear to hear them out. No wonder Charlotte became the beacon of
hope for them.
When it all started, Charlotte tried her best to
ignore it. Her parents never believed her, thinking she’d gone nuts from
the trauma. The visits to shrinks and all those high powered meds
didn’t help. She was still seeing ghosts. Her life, as she knew it, was
completely over. A curse that she couldn’t get rid of. Finally one day,
not knowing how to ‘handle’ this situation, without even trying to
understand what his daughter might be going through, Charlotte’s father
gave up. With a lump sum of money, she was asked to ‘take a trip’. But
Charlotte knew what it meant. They wanted her out of their life and
relieve them of all the complications, the embarrassments they felt
about her. I couldn’t believe it, though I tried understanding her
parents’ side of the story. It must not have been easy as they couldn’t
connect with her in any level. But asking her to leave was simply cruel!
With
that money and Axel’s car as her only companion, Charlotte left her
hometown without any particular destination in mind. For the next few
yrs. all she had done was to help the ghosts who reached out to her.
They appear to Charlotte like any of us, thankfully not in the state
when they passed away, which makes it a bit bearable I guess. She can’t
touch them but can hear them clearly. This story is told from dual POV
but I never got confused. One of the POVs were of Charlotte’s, the other
was of Ike, whom we meet soon enough.
Years on the road,
without much of a life and any hope, Charlotte was on the verge of a
breakdown. She wanted out. She wanted to be normal. She simply wanted
her ‘life’ back but knew it was impossible. Unable to become comfortable
with her ‘gift’, Charlotte decides to help one last soul; a girl who
was murdered some months ago, though her body has never been found.
She’s still on the missing persons list, so her parents are holding on a
thin ray of hope. This girl, Cassie, wanted her body to be found so
that everyone finally learns of the truth. Hence, she sought out
Charlotte, which is also were the story begins. It was a distressing
scene, with Charlotte trying to find Cassie’s decomposed body under a
bridge on a rainy night before filing an anonymous report. But what made
it more chilling was the fact that right after that, we learn that
Charlotte is going to commit suicide!
But there was her new
guardian angel waiting to save Charlotte from making that colossal
mistake. Ike McDarmott, another soul stuck in limbo just happened to
have wondered far from his visiting place. Some months ago, he was
killed in action in the war. Ike had a great life with a pair of very
loving and supportive parents. He also has a twin brother, George, and
an adopted younger brother, Cameron. He should’ve been able to move on
but for George. His twin is taking his passing very hard, so much so
that he’s hell-bent on destroying himself by taking drugs and hooking up
with sluts that sell the same to him. Twins do share a special bond,
and when that bond is broken so suddenly, things turn into an upheaval.
Ike is very worried, and without knowing how to help him, he has been
unable to move on.
While Ike was walking down that same bridge,
he spies on Charlotte about to jump into the water and screamed at her
out of habit, even knowing she can’t hear or see him. But he finds
himself amazed, and full of hope for the first time in so many months,
when her grumpy answer reaches him in the form of something like ‘go
away’. :) You can’t imagine how my feelings as Ike becomes tremendously
happy to finally have found someone who can actually
see and hear him! He manages to convince her to not to jump. Charlotte,
of course, knew that he’s been around for a reason and asks him directly
about it. But first she needs to find a place to stay and get comfy.
Thankfully, Ike helps her out with a destination; Warm Springs, a
small-town nearby where he was born and raised. Where his family still
resides.
Charlotte noticed how handsome Ike was on spot, just as
Ike found her petit, dark looks beautiful. Ike was tall and broad
shouldered with a soldier’s body. His gorgeous brown eyes and that ever
present smile would melt any girl with a heart. And God, his sense of
humor is so infectious, he can make anyone laugh! Charlotte needed that
distraction, a savior to help her through those dark days. Ike served as
both. For the first time, she begins to think that maybe seeing dead
people isn’t a curse after all. Ike is amazing, and Charlotte loves
communicating with him. Trust me, you’d LOVE him when you read their
conversations and his POV in the story. Ike is any girl’s dream come
true. He’s there with Charlotte, either trying to cheer her up with a
joke or two or talk to her about his family, and the reason why he’s
still here. He wants Charlotte to get to George somehow and drag him out
of that abyss he’s so determined to jump into. She didn’t know if she
can do it but Charlotte would try for Ike’s sake.
Charlotte finds
help from a kind elderly couple, The Mercers. With Mr. Mercer’s help,
she even finds a place at a nearby motel, the generous landlady willing
to give her a place to stay. But Charlotte is determined to earn her
stay or at the least pay for it, which is how, a few days later on Ike’s
encouragement, she finds herself in front of Ike and George’s, a
restaurant that was jointly run by the brothers. She was hoping for a
waitress job, until she finally meets a grumpy George
and was struck dumb. Ike... umm, did leave out one tiny information. He
never mentioned that George was his identical twin. Imagine Charlotte’s
surprise! Though George is much thinner and less broad than Ike, he’s
no less handsome. His eyes are darker than Ike’s too but they’re
shadowed by pain and the stress, with a veil of the poison he’s been
taking off late.
Unsurprisingly, George and Charlotte don’t start
out on a positive note. He’s a jerk to her in the beginning. Charlotte
also meets the b!tch Ike told her about; a waitress in their restaurant,
who has been sleeping with him, and selling him the drugs. She’s
definitely not impressed knowing that the girl is engaged to someone
else. I wasn’t impressed either but George was a mess to be sure and
needed rescuing, especially from the tentacles of that girl. Charlotte
knew she has her work cut out where he was concerned but again, she’d
try whatever she can for Ike. She was already falling in love with this
small-town and the kind people who reside here. Charlotte couldn’t
believe the type of amazing people she’d met so far, and she’s not
giving up so easily. Not anymore!
In the next scenes, you’ll find
some funny, heartwarming conversations between Ike and Charlotte, then
Charlotte and George’s not-so-funny conversations as well.
Personality-wise, the brothers were as different as they come, yet to
the core, they were warm and genuinely good. If Ike was the gentleman,
George was the rebel. With Ike, Charlotte had this comfy, BFF type of
relationship where the chemistry between them was a slow burn. But with
George, it was more in-your-face, i-hate-to-love-you-love-to-hate-you
kind. On one moment, it seemed they’d bite each-other’s heads off, the
next it felt they’d jump each-other. The chemistry was crackling too. I
would’ve loved it more had it not been for the continuous presence of
that girl. I could only applaud when I found Charlotte had plans to get
rid of her.
On her sojourn, Charlotte becomes a bit popular
among the small-town community, especially her good looks did bring men
around, and more often than not Charlotte would find George glaring at
her when that happened. Was he jealous? Oh boy, she didn’t even want to
contemplate on that score! Life is complicated for her as it is. What
she still didn’t know that George wasn’t proud of the life he’d led
since Ike’s death and that, somewhere deep inside, he wanted to change.
In the course of the story, Charlotte meets new people, including Ike’s
buddy from the army, Sniper and another waitress, Anna. On the get go,
Sniper would give you the impression of a happy-go-lucky manwhore who
wants nothing more than a good time. He even tries to work his ‘charm’
on Charlotte and my utter delight, got rebuffed with good-natured
eyerolls. But Sniper was much more than that as we later find out later.
He becomes Charlotte’s protector, proving that, no matter what, he
stays true to the people he cares for.
Gradually, Charlotte
begins finding sure footing with George, who begins showing flashes of
those good sides that Ike told her was hidden way beneath his gruff
exterior. They forged this unlikely companionship overtime. When, one
day, Mrs. McDermott stops by at the restaurant, Charlotte is even
invited at their home, where meets Mr. McDermott and Cameron, the
hilarious younger brother. Charlotte likes them instantly, and finds
solace in the fact that Ike is there sharing these moments with her.
She’d like to scream out loud and tell them the ‘secret’ she’s been
hiding, but Charlotte didn’t know if she’d survive if these kind people
also reject her as a weirdo and mentally unstable.
But with
George, Charlotte was also walking on a fragile, uncharted territory. At
one point, when she tries to intervene into his darkness, he got angry,
suspicious and they had this fight. It riles up Ike too, though
Charlotte knew it was already too late. Her plan of getting rid of that
girl goes awry when the boyfriend beats George up. Charlotte begins
feeling guilty. She could’ve avoided this disaster because she knew it
to be a possibility. But mostly, she was dreading hurting Ike. It also
told her that she’d done something she should never have; falling in
love with a ghost. With whom she has no future to speak of. Hell, they
won’t even have a chance, not in this lifetime! Ike would soon
crossover, what then? How will she live without him nearby, his smiles,
his jokes and those insane urges to kiss him senseless? From Ike’s POV,
it was already apparent that he was crazy in love with Charlotte. It was
eating him inside out that he can’t do anything about it, not even
touch her a little. But Ike wanted with all his heart that she makes
someone else happy. And if he’s going to have to share her with anyone,
then it should be George. He knew she’d do him good.
Nevertheless,
Ike is rather mad at Charlotte after George got beat up. But that
incident does create an intervention. George finally begins realizing
just how close he to destroy his life. Was he going to put his parents
through that pain again? But mostly, he felt mortified that Charlotte’s
first impression of him was so... disgraceful. At last, George reaches
out for help and finds it hard to believe that she cares. Charlotte, to
her surprise, also discovers that maybe she can love George too. In a
whole different way than her feelings for Ike, but she definitely wants
to be his savior... and more. If that made her odd and crazy, she didn’t
care. So, as the first step, she spells out to George that no more
drugs and definitely no more of girls who are no good for him.
At
that point in the story, Cassie’s case turns up, it seem, to haunt
Charlotte again. Cassie may have crossed over but Charlotte did
something (and I noticed it) while filing for that anonymous report,
that helped the police track back to her. But then, at that time,
Charlotte thought she won’t be around to follow up. Oh but how wrong she
was! When the police begins sniffing about, George becomes restless,
his protectiveness of Charlotte apparent. A shift in their relationship
was evident and very much accepted from both sides. Yet, Charlotte finds
herself unburdening to Sniper, the first person in Warm Springs to
learn of her secret and accept it wholeheartedly. If I found Ike and
Charlotte’s conversation emotional, especially when they figured they’re
in love, Ike and Sniper’s conversation with Charlotte’s help just broke
my heart. I simply didn’t know how I’d handle when he finally gets to
talk to George.
From an unexpected, prior conversation, George
found out about Charlotte’s terrible experience and Axel’s passing that
pretty much broke her. And with that, he found a kindred soul. Now
George knew just how much Charlotte understood what
he’s going through. The good, bad and the ugly is what they promised. As
George’s withdrawal finally takes hold, this time Charlotte is there to
help him get through this. They’ve already forged a bond, a few kisses
to seal it with, though Charlotte still wasn’t sure if George would
return her affection. If he doesn’t, and after Ike leaves, what would
happen to her? How would she survive the loss of 2 men, one after
another, that she’d come to love? But she still soldiers on, determined
to finish her job. It’d broke her heart, but Ike would have to move
on...
But things began going downhill from there as Charlotte’s father shows
up. Since police was on her already, it was pretty easy. Thankfully,
Charlotte found the McDermott family by her side in this chaos. As a
lawyer, Mr. McDermott’s support was unconditional but she had to make up
a story so that her secret remains safe. But for how long? Time is
running out and sooner or later, she has to confess.
In the end,
after the stress of George’s withdrawal and her father’s sudden
appearance, Charlotte decides it’s time that the family knew before he
concocted some story to ruin the life she’d forged for herself here. Ike
wholeheartedly agreed. Even though the family takes the news in stride,
it’s George who takes it hard. He’s angry and in denial, fearing the
effect of Charlotte’s confession, if any of it is
true that is. Oh, talk about more heartbreak, and tears! My heart was
literally breaking for them, with them. Then there was the fact that Ike
would soon leave... I can only tell you my tears were flowing freely.
Ike’s
departure from this earth once and for all had no big drama or climax.
No, there was no elaborate description of where he went either. Guess no
one knows that for a fact, yet I’ve been dreading that moment much like
Charlotte for the whole story because everything led down to that one
intricate moment. And when it happened......... I can’t even explain how
sad and depressing it was. I read that scene a couple of times and felt
as miserable as I’ve never been. Before I could recover, I was struck
again when I saw a picture of Ike’s dog tag. It hurt so much just to
look at it.
Ike was my favorite of the two brothers, though to be
fair to George, he managed to win a spot in my heart as well. Mostly
because he tried his best to change himself to be worthy of Charlotte.
After the initial shock of her revelation passed, he took Charlotte in
just as she was, giving her a permanent home in Warm Springs. No
judgments or questions asked. Likewise, there was no question in my mind
about the love these three individuals shared, even if it was for a
short while. Even if one of them was dead. I sorely missed George’s POV
in the story, which probably would’ve made me understand him a bit
better. Also, he and Ike never really said goodbye to each-other through
Charlotte, but there was one, which showed George’s acceptance of
Charlotte’s gift.
I’d like to thank BN Toler for such a
well-written and wonderful, heartwarming as well as heart-wrenching
story. I can honestly say that I haven’t read a story like Where One Goes
ever before. It’d stay in my heart for a long time to come. 5 stars.
I’d recommend this beautiful story in a heartbeat. Read it NOW, then
tell me you hadn’t shed a single tear.
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