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Not Wicked Enough by Carolyn Jewel

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Not Wicked Enough
Seducing the Scoundrels #1

Carolyn Jewel
Historical Romance
Published in 2011

H/h - ... Hampton, the Duke of Mountjoy/Lily Wellstone
Setting: Sheffieldshire, England, 1816.

Read in Sept, 2012.
My rating:

                                                [spoiler alert]

Caution: This review is mainly rant! If you loved this book and not fond of snarky rants, no need to continue. If not, please proceed...

OMG, where the hell do I start about this book? I don’t know for sure. Because I follow CJ in FB, I know she’s a wonderful person with a super sense of humor and so, this is very painful for me. So far, I’ve found that her books tend to be hit or miss with me. I had a really hard time with Not Wicked Enough. I didn’t like, just about everything of this book: the plot (which was pretty much non-existent), the characters, mainly the H, Mountjoy and h, Lily. The plot was confusing because I couldn’t make the a to z and a lot of the times ended up re-reading paragraphs just to understand if I’m reading the sequence correctly. And WOW, Lily, she was something! She annoyed the hell outta me, don’t even ask about Mountjoy! *sigh*

Lily comes to Bitterward, the Duke of Mountjoy’s country estate, to see her good friend, Eugenia or Ginny, Mountjoy’s only sister. Ginny’s husband, Robert died quite sometimes ago and she’s been in mourning ever since. Her mourning was about come to an end. Nothing about how Lily and Ginny met or their life before Bitterward was explored, unless it’s from Lily’s words. Now, Lily is an heiress herself, a beautiful woman but a spinster. Her one true love, a soldier named Greer died in the war. Even though it’s been almost 5 years, Lily has decided she won’t ever marry or replace Greer in her heart with anyone else. Being an heiress makes her vulnerable to all sorts of money grabbers too. Lily’s money came from one of her great aunts. Her maternal and paternal families have some squabbles going on since before her birth. Lily’s maternal grandfather and uncle are the Dukes of Camber. Since Lily’s father was of a lower status, they disowned her mother for marrying him. Lily’s father is the sort who holds grudges forever, and so, he never forgave them. I’m not sure why but the man isn’t even charitable to his daughter. He came off as an immature, selfish a-whole, so I kinda guessed why Lily was the way she was. Genes and all that. Thankfully, we never meet him but only by mention. So, Lily’s great aunt, who cared for her mother, left all her properties including Syton House, to Lily, making her this hugely wealthy heiress. Her father was unhappy about this too, as was her maternal uncle, the Duke. Lily has always been worried about Camber’s attorney coming to grab her inheritance, because it was supposed to have been gone to Camber and eventually to his only son, the Marquess of Fenris.

Lily isn’t a virgin. Fine. I don’t want a virgin heroine always, not necessary, even in HRs. CJ tried to portray her as an independent woman, with vivacious personality, witty and charming etc. But all I saw was an empty vessel who’s impulsive, irrational, shallow and yes, selfish to the core. Her fastidiousness about her appearance I found exceedingly annoying. She chose gowns of some color that would flatter her complexion with her surroundings, FGS!! But at first I liked her, until I begin to see she’s not as smart or witty as she was said to be. All words, but her actions never really supported any of those. I started to feel uncomfortable when in the first scene, she fell in lust with Mountjoy and wanted to shag him. Right there and then. This could’ve been fun actually but then, it wasn’t... Oh well, I read on...

Mountjoy, whose given name is NEVER once uttered in this 300 something pages novel, was a living in a farm until he came into the title very suddenly and unexpectedly. He was an orphan already. Mountjoy took care of his sister Ginny and brother Nigel, took care of all the responsibilities of a Duke as well and it certainly hadn’t been easy to ascent from a farmer to a Duke, just like that. It’s been around 9 yrs. since he’s ascended the title but still, he doesn’t give a sh*t about the social conventions. He doesn’t like to mingle with people, go to parties and balls. He doesn’t like London, unless he has to be present on some political endeavors or to shag his current mistress (whoever it is at that moment). Even though he’s handsome and all that, Mountjoy doesn’t like to dress up like a lord should. He prefers comfort rather than fashion and so, most of the times, the linen of his shirt is frayed or the wool on his coat faded. It was the only thing that I found interesting in Mountjoy, but Lily took that away as well when she began to get her influence on him. Funny thing was, even though Mountjoy was said to have been 28/29, somehow the way he was portrayed, I ended up imagining him somewhere in his late 30s or early 40s. No idea why.

So, they met and he shows Lily in, he can’t move his eyes from her butt... As they are talking, I got to learn that Mountjoy is almost engaged to a local girl. Nothing official yet but it seems like the opinion has been established that he’ll marry her. Everyone, including Ginny thinks that he loves this girl, Jane. But, on the course of the story, I saw he doesn’t even talk to her other than the polite formalities. Jane isn’t even comfortable around him. So HOW they formed an important opinion such as this, I have NO idea. We also meet Ginny herself. She’s somewhat subdued at the moment, but opinions are that she used be a vivacious sort and was very happy in her marriage. I liked Ginny, whatever little was said about her. There is Nigel too, who was also present at Bitterward. He’s a charming fellow, who immediately starts flirting with Lily, though Lily’s mind was already occupied with his older brother and his ‘lovely’ body.

(Seriously! She called him ‘lovely’ so many times, I had no idea how to react. How does a man look ‘lovely’? She even called his d*ck ‘lovely’. )

So, from the first page starts Lily and Mountjoy’s so-called ‘dance of seduction’. It didn’t bother Lily at all that he’s almost engaged, that that Jane comes to visit them often. Eventually, she’s in friendly terms with Jane, all the while thinking of shagging Mountjoy. I DID NOT like this and my opinion of her started going down. Nothing much was happening, except for their boring, pretentious banters and that freakin’ ‘dance of seduction’, which either annoyed the hell outta me or bored me to sleep. After some dancing here and there and poking some innuendoes towards one-another, they finally step into the part of shagging. Mountjoy knew that this is wrong in so many levels; one, Lily was Ginny’s close friend. Then, he was already engaged. But of course, nothing mattered. He broke off with his last mistress a few days ago, so an affair with Lily for the time she’s here is the most convenient option. Lily, on the other hand, only wanted a d*ck (oops, am I being too wicked?). She missed Greer’s, it’s been a while and Mounjoy is a big man, so she knew she’ll enjoy his as well. And he was perfectly willing to give it to her, so why not? After all, she’s soooooooooooooooo f*cking wicked, that even her father calls her wicked!!!! She slept with her dead fiance, and gave Mountjoy a great head in their first encounter... woohoooooooo!! Wicked, OH SO WICKED!!!



(The amount of time CJ spent trying to emphasize the word WICKED and in making us believe that Lily is, indeed, very very wicked, that by the time this book ended, I started hating this word. Why was this forced attempt FGS?? If she was given some BRAIN and a little likable PERSONALITY instead, I would’ve admired her better!!)

I didn’t find anything sexy about this affair. I didn’t like how every time they talked, the talks about Mountjoy’s ex-lovers would intrude their conversation and that Lily seemed to enjoy talking about them. Huh?? I didn’t like that he was thinking how Lily would soon join the ‘cadre’ of his mistresses... I mean, seriously dude? *barf* I skimmed through most of the sex scenes and their really odd conversations during sex. *blank stare*

By the time I was a bit more than halfway through, I was hoping for a miracle. I was hoping that this might soon improve. Lily might show some emotions and Mountjoy something, anything that I can begin admiring in him.

To sum up my reactions so far:

Hmm, both Lily and Mountjoy start making moves on each-other in various ways, kisses, fondlings, showing secret erotic room which later becomes their trysting place. (DUH!!)... Pass!

Hmm, Lily’s endeavors to dress Mountjoy as befitting his station. There were some banters and wagers between them about this, which ultimately lead to sex after their affair started. PASS!!

Hmm, there was the talk of a medallion, which some gypsy prince gave to Lily (*big eye-roll*) and it supposed to have magical power: to unite lovers forever or something like this. Magic? Where was the magic in Lily and Mountjoy’s lust-filled communication? I saw NADA. So, Pass!!!

Hmmm, Lily does this digging in some areas of Bitterward, because she saw some dreams that intertwines with Mountjoy’s (though they didn’t yet know they were having the same dream). It was apparently about finding some treasure and a work of the medallion. Trust me, the whole thing had NO connection to the actual story, neither any actual importance. I have NO idea why CJ even entered this part. I only ended up having an example of Lily’s impulsive behavior... ‘Ooh, want to dig up your property because I think there’s treasure, so gimme the shovel’. Mountjoy was only happy to give his permission. Do I even have to say Pass???

That miracle never arrived, alas!

Soon, against his better judgments, Mountjoy becomes more than enamored of Lily. Sex was sex, but he begins to have twinges and flickers on his left side every time Lily walked into a room. Oh she’s so purrrfect in everything and she’s so good in bed... he’s positively swooning over her!!! It has been... how long? I don’t think much more than a few weeks, fewer since they began their affair but he was already half way in love with her. But Lily kept farm in her conviction. NO ONE will replace Greer in her heart, no matter what, even though she also finds Mountjoy’s presence exhilarating, sex amazing. She might or might not feel something, but she’s not giving him even the benefit of doubt. It’s like she just wanted to torture Mountjoy on her whim.

In some of their outings and the balls given by other people, we meet Fenris. Lily discovers how her cousin looks like for the first time. Then, it’s revealed that Fenris was also Robert’s very close friend and vehemently opposed his match to Ginny. Because of this, Ginny and her family doesn’t like him at all. Ginny actually hates him as strongly as possible. Fenris, though very handsome, according to them, is a prude, very sure of his noble birth, always acting accordingly. He even taunted Mountjoy for being a farmer, when he first came to his title. So, all in all, Fenris is a villain of sort. When he begins to show up in various places, Lily thought that the man was after her for her inheritance. Maybe wants to remind her of it? But, it was also quite apparent that Fenris mostly seeks out Ginny and not Lily. His eyes only follow her and not Lily. Lily and he make an awkward sort of introduction, as he, for the first time in his life, saw his cousin as well.

We begin hearing Mountjoy’s growl from the towers of Bitterward every time Fenris came close to Lily in the later parts... and sometimes, to Ginny. Garr-rwarrrr-grrrr!!!


Mountjoy, by now, begin to become delusional by the need to make Lily his. But Lily was as vague as ever, always sidetracking him or his words. He made a fool of himself once or twice and Lily set him in his place. ‘You’re only my f*ckbuddy for the time fella, so know your place, okie??’ <-- is what about sums up Lily’s reaction to him. But Mountjoy is determined to show her that he’s in love. It didn’t matter if she returns his love, he has to have her in his life… Even if it’s as his mistress. Lily actually turns him down when he proposes marriage but is perfectly happy if they can somehow dodge the Ton and keep shagging each-other discreetly. It doesn’t matter when Mountjoy married, she’ll help him cheat on his wife. Who cares as long as she gets that ‘lovely’ d*ck of his!!



(It’s all karma, I tell you Mountjoy. You made your bed, now sleep in it. You deserve the suffering, you moron!! *shrugs indifferently*)

As if CJ thought this whole mess won’t piss me enough, she creates another mess soon. Fenris finally finds out a convenient time to meet Lily. Mountjoy’s absence was what he was looking for and he succeeds. Upon hearing, Lily becomes worried about this meeting. Has he finally brought the papers to grab her inheritance? Turns out, no. Fenris is very nice, and wants to mend this rift between their families any way possible. Then, as they talk, Fenris proposes her out of the blue............ Ookie. Hmmmm, and then, Lily is considering his proposal. WHAT????????? Mountjoy is in shock and hurt by her decisions but he’s supportive of this. He wants all the best for her but he also wants her to marry for love. Lily thinks... you know what she thinks?? She thinks that because Fenris is family (apart from her father), she ought to marry him... and she’d eventually grow to love him. OMG, really b*tch? When Mountjoy has already asked you to marry him instead, when he’s confessed of his feelings, may be not in words but in other actions... when you KNOW you feel something special for him and all the while you gave him this impression that you’d NEVER marry or love? Now you think this way about Fenris and you deny Mountjoy, citing you and he are ‘good friends’????

F$*(W))E*w09e8r8e0—qwe($*%(W)#)@##$**$!!!!

I was SO BLOODY F*CKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Selfish b*tch!!

(Lemme take some times to put myself together...)
.
.
.
.

There was also another very convenient plot of getting Jane out of the way, by making her pregnant by Nigel. Apparently he’s been in love with her for a while and they’ve been at ‘it’ too, though throughout the story I saw NOT A SINGLE sign of anything between them. Then again, none of the secondary characters really had a voice or prominent roles. No wonder I was bored.

You know the rest. 2.5 stars.

Next is Ginny and Fenris’ book, Not Proper Enough. Lily passed on the stupid medallion to Ginny... now, I'm scared.

PS: ‘Fetching’ shall never be the same for me ever again.
Photo courtesy of evilqueen112

2 comments:

ladystorm said...

To bad it was sort of boring! I haven't heard of this book. I am a new follower from book blog, please follow me back at http://writesthoughts.blogspot.com. :)

Punya said...

Oh this author is a hit or miss with me. Thank you for following... following you back right now. :)

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I'm a simple girl. I love to read in my spare time and do reviews the books I read. I also write, mostly songs/poems, though I'm not published. I love music and traveling. Sometimes, I wish I could live inside a book, having my own HEA. :)
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